The Ticking Dilemma
by platypus-quacks-too
Summary: Amy has asked him to pursue the chance of a Nobel nomination without her, but Sheldon doesn't feel right about this. Missing scene from "The Confirmation Polarization".


A silver lining of being one of the very few people Sheldon Cooper is willing to hug is that his embrace always feels tighter and warmer. Today makes no exception, maybe more so.

Amy closes her eyes as her husband pulls her closer. She has made the right choice. Sure, she was excited by the chance to snag a nomination for a Nobel, what scientist is not? But Sheldon dreams of it ever since he was a child. And if she can be sure of something, it's that she won't let him throw away his chance. She loves him too much. Life has been so generous with her already, she will live a perfectly fulfilled life even without it. Or maybe other occasions will come for her, she has so many promising researches in her own field that may lead her to that someday. This particular chance is definitely not worth Sheldon's unhappiness.

Amy knows she has made the right choice. Then, why is Sheldon still ticking like a bomb bound to explode?

* * *

Amy's hair smells like peaches. Or maybe it's apricot, he is not sure. She has been experimenting with a few fancy shampoos lately. He doesn't like the constant changes, even if he has to admit they are all perfectly nice fragrances so far. Or maybe they all seem nice to him because it's Amy. Everything seems better when it's about her. He does not quite realize it most of the time, but many things change their value because of her. For instance, if only a few months before someone told him he would have chosen to be fair to Amy over the possible nomination for a Nobel, he would have said this person was clinically insane. Not only he has done it, he also didn't have the slightest hesitation in placing the right recognition of her contribution before his own ambition.

Amy looks so small wrapped in his arms. He wonders if she feels protected in their hug like he does, even if Amy is so tiny compared to him that she almost disappears in there. And yet she is always the strongest among them. She is the one insisting with him to still try chasing that nomination and not worry about her. She put his happiness before her own. But…

You are the reason that I deserve it.

His own words echo loud in his head. She is such a brilliant scientist, and a wonder of person. Her suggestions and instinct have been fundamental to build the theory, and even if it is a bit odd to other people, whenever they banter the math just improves. But on top of everything, Amy made him a man worth such a discovery. She made him a man worth being remembered. He didn't ask for it. He didn't want it even at first. Still, he is sure he couldn't have gone so far if something wouldn't have changed in him.

No, he can't do this to her. He can't tell her either now, what would she think of him after such a generous gift?

He finds himself ticking again as he forces his decision down his throat. He won't let her do this.

* * *

Reluctantly, they detach a few minutes later when their stomachs remind them they barely started dinner. An awkward silence falls between them at first and Amy does not understand why. Isn't everything sorted now? Yeah, he made that sound again earlier, but maybe he was just releasing tension.

She decides to discuss something else to distract their minds. "You should do that Ten Years Challenge thing on Facebook," she casually says, "I am sure everyone would envy how you don't look a day older."

Sheldon shrugs. "What's the point in doing that if there's no visible change?"

"I think it would be more appropriate for you," he adds then, "You changed a lot." He realizes immediately she would raise eyebrows at him if he doesn't hurry to clarify he doesn't mean because of age. "You are way cuter now," he says.

"Use this one for the present time," he even suggests as he shows her his phone background, a glowing picture of herself the day of their wedding.

"I will. It's a very good one," she agrees.

 _Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick._

* * *

Amy is still standing near the kitchen sink when her husband approaches and hugs her from behind apparently without a reason.

"You smell good," he mutters resting his head on her shoulder. Amy smiles. This is totally random and she should probably wonder why he is doing that. It is also incredibly good.

"Proposal: no movie tonight. We go straight to bed and cuddle," he offers.

She brushes slightly his hands around her waist. "Just cuddle?"

She knows tonight his schedule would want them to be intimate. She doesn't always understand when it is, but earlier tonight his phone has rung and he has dismissed the alarm way too quickly to not seem suspicious.

"Nothing else," he clarifies.

To be honest, there is a part of him who would remain true to his schedule and make love to Amy. And she smells so good tonight…He also wants to hold her tight and fall asleep to the pace of her breathing, making him feel safe just like she did when they hugged before; maybe kissing her a bit to taste her lips.

"I wouldn't want anything else," Amy agrees.

 _Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick._

* * *

Once again tonight they are in each other's arms, this time in the middle of their bed, their faces a few inches close. They have briefly kissed, now they stare to their spouse in a thoughtful silence.

 _Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick._

The realization of what is still bothering him strikes her all of sudden.

"You still don't want to go solo with Doctors Pemberton and Campbell, do you?"

Sheldon gulps, and his only answer is rolling on her and hiding his face in her bosom. She passes her hand through his hair and thinks he looks like a child who broke his mommy's favorite China and just got busted.

He clings more on her. "I won't do that. I really meant it when I accepted your decision," he explains, "It's just… I can't. I am sorry."

He dares to look up at her. "I am sorry," he says again, "I- I don't want you to think I don't appreciate your offer. I know how hard it was for you say that. I- I can't. It's not fair."

"Sheldon…"

Never in her life she thought she had to insist with Sheldon to make him get full credit for something, especially such a huge project. It doesn't matter though. He can push it all he wants, but she won't change her mind. It wouldn't be fair _to him_.

She gently touches his cheek and cracks a smile. "Sheldon, the very fact you were ready to give up this incredible chance for me… this! It is the single most amazing thing you did for me, and I include that time you flew across the country to propose to me on the spur of a moment."

"Amy-"

"You already did this," she cuts him off, "We are good."

Sheldon snorts and buries his head again on her. He really married a stubborn creature, did he? He takes a deep breath and tries again.

"We came with this idea at our wedding. I had the intuition, but you understood what it was," he recaps. "When that Russian paper seemed to have disproved us, you got the hint from my dad and pushed me back on track."

"And if all these reasons aren't enough, consider what you have done to _me._ " His voice is raising as he gets more passionate. "You made me worthy of this incredible theory. Our theory! It wouldn't exist without you. So…" he shrugs lightly, "If I will ever get recognition for it, it must be with you, or I don't want it at all."

He feels unburdened. The bomb is disarmed once and for all. He feels good now… for about two second straights, until he realizes tears are streaming down Amy's face.

She catches the change in his expression and immediately reassures him, "It's okay. It's just... I guess I hadn't realized how much this meant for you, that we did this together."

"Of course it does!"

Everything he just said, he is right. And the way he said those things… the truth is that she'll never cease to be amazed by how much he loves her, and the new ways he finds to show her.

She fights back the tears, mostly in vain. She also tentatively smiles at him. "Now it's my turn to ask this." she asks, "Is this really what you want us to do?"

He nods resolutely, and this is enough. She reads in his eyes there is nothing else she can do to change his mind, and honestly, she doesn't want it anymore.

"Okay. Let's do this," Amy finally concedes.

Sheldon lies back and they face each other again. She pulls him closer and caresses his arm while he gently wipes away her tears.

"We'll have to fight for this," Amy reminds him, "The Fermilab guys won't give up easily. Also, we don't know yet what Siebert thinks if this, and-

Sheldon cups her face and hushes her with a kiss. "We will do whatever it takes" Sheldon says, "We will fight those two, Sieber, all of them..."

He kisses her again and lingers on her lips. Suddenly his father's words of encouragement reverberate in his head. They fit this so well.

"If it comes to that, we're gonna give them hell," he promises.


End file.
